Graduation Day!
It was May 1969 and the day we had waited for all our lives had arrived, high school graduation. In those days the custom was in terms of graduation gowns, for the boys to wear one of the school colors while the girls wore the other. It was also customary to line up and walk on the stage as a couple, two by two, boy girl, boy girl.
Naturally in those chivalrous times, the girls were given first choice as to who they wanted to have accompany them throughout this ordeal. I think all of this was to maximize the outcome for both the photographer and the principal.
As fate would have it, I was asked by Julie, literally “ the girl next door” as her boyfriend was well into college and my girlfriend attended a different high school. There were several reasons why I was the obvious choice for this occasion, not the least of which was because I was 3 or 4 years younger than her fiance’ and posed little threat to his position.
Probably the most important reason was because we had a long history of growing up together, leading up to this culminating event. She wasn’t the girl next door either in looks or social standing but she was the girl who lived across the street, who at the end of the day was kind to me and always gave me the benefit of the doubt.
Platonic because of a 67’ G.T.O.
Our relationship was strictly platonic mostly because like I said, her boyfriends were always much older than me and drove nicer cars. In this case I had a Honda 90 motor bike and he had a 1967 G.T.O. Looked fast just parked by the curb. Even though we “fussed” a lot throughout our teenage years, when I found myself in a neighborhood conflict where I was likely to get beaten up, which was quite often, she always jumped to my side. Did I mention she was originally from Arkansas and that’s what the girls do down there.
Dance Party with No Adult Supervision
There were many highlights from growing up together, but one great example from our freshman year, we used to call it 9th grade was when she would occasionally host a Friday night dance party. Only a few of the kids from our junior high were invited and I was lucky enough to be one of them, probably so that I wouldn’t rat her out. It was quite convenient for all parties involved that both of her parents worked second shift and there was no adult supervision what so ever.
Miracle of Miracles
This was no less than a miracle for the hormone driven teenage boys who attended, if you know what I mean. Getting to go to this exclusive and clandestine event actually ramped up my “street cred” as a number of my buddies sidled up to me in order to walk in on my “coat tails” so to speak.
Highlight: MLK, JFK and Chuck
The highlight for me though was in in high school where all the students in the required Sophomore English Course were assigned to write an essay about someone they admired and why. While others wrote the praises of Martin Luther King or John F. Kennedy, Julie wrote an essay about me.
I was short but I was slow and through a second chance granted to me by the mercy of the coaches, I made the basketball team. Julie, since 7th grade had watched me dribble my ball down the block juking imaginary defenders all the way to the school playground where I shot baskets until well after dark. Later she observed me wearing “ankle weights” to school in order to build up my leg strength and finally she witnessed me refusing rides to high school so that I could jog and thereby build up my endurance. I guess this made a greater impression upon her than I thought.
This was an honor I will never forget.
Years Passed…But “Hey-Hey We’re The Monkees”
As years passed we would visit at high school reunions or at other chance encounters and try to stay connected. We would reminisce about all the times as a kid I would come over to her house just to hang out. We laughed remembering those Monday nights we would get together to watch the show and sing the song, “Hey Hey we’re the Monkeys" people say we monkey around.
The Time Bucket
I tell this story because I recently became acquainted with a concept called a Time Bucket. This term is better explained by Bill Perkins in his book “Die with Zero”. Although this book has a financial focus, it speaks of the importance of recognizing your Time Buckets and what you should consider accomplishing within them.
Everyone knows about their Bucket List and in previous episodes we’ve sent out the “Curious List” which is much akin to it. On that list we want you to write down those things that you’ve always been curious about but never before had the time or resources to learn much about it. We’ve reissued it on this episode so you don’t miss out on it.
The Time Buckets adds a third dimension, our physical health, and how important it is to try to have the physically demanding experiences in the right time bucket and not wait until it’s too late for you and more importantly for the people with whom you want to have the experience.
Time Buckets: From Go-Go, to Go, to NO Go
It goes like this, before age 25 is like “pre-season” in sports, you work out what you’re good at, prepare for it, and begin your climb to the major leagues. The time bucket from 25 to 35 or so is when life starts keeping score. Most of us assume mortgages, marriages, or maybe a second one, and usually some credit card debt all while trying to pay off student loans amassed in the “pre-season”. Although hard pressed do not put off doing things with your spouse, kids and friends because they are going through their own time bucket as well.
Taking your kids to Disney when they are 10 is not like taking them when they are 20. Get what I mean?
Let’s face it the Time Bucket between 35 and about 50 is but a blur. Job promotions or demotions. moving to various and seemingly advantageous locations, going down the trail where we lose older loved ones and supporting our kids from striking a tennis or soccer ball to striking out on their own. All of this stretches our time, resources and physical health to its’ limits. Still taking a 20 year anniversary honeymoon with your spouse or going with your kids to the Lord forbid a rock concert which they chose will not only build everlasting memories but also won’t come around again, ever!
Finally, Sanity and Sanctity
Perkins goes on to explain from age 50 to retirement is a bucket time where some sanity and sanctity returns to your life, He calls this the Go-Go years. Don’t necessarily put off trips with your spouse, family and friends until after retirement when the opportunity presents itself sooner.
Hiking up Pikes Peak is much easier at 50 than it is at 70.
Perkins calls retirement to your early 70’s no longer the Go-Go years but rather just the Go years. You can still maximize a lot of physically demanding experiences but it ain’t gonna be easy.
Shot out of a Volcano, No Thank You.
Around 75ish to 85ish he calls the Slow-Go years. You may still go to the Universal Theme Park in Orlando but you might not jump on the worlds highest and fastest roller coaster. My own experience was Volcano Bay, the king of all water parks, where they can shoot you out of a Volcano like a torpedo and you can count to 10 before you finally hit the water. I loved watching my kids and grandkids perform this death defying feat.
Meanwhile I was all too happy along with my young granddaughter to embark on a more domesticated ride called the Lazy River. For most of us after age 85 is called the No-Go Time Bucket. This is where we tend to stay close to home and most of the time, younger friends and relatives come to visit us rather than us going to visit them.
Challenge Question
Who is on your friends list?
See the Challenge Tracker below where you have the opportunity to identify those people who are closest to you. You want to retain contact with them, and this is the time of life to perhaps make a more solid connection.
Ignoring good friends is easier than we think. With all the distractions that abound, you wake up one day and realize it’s been a year or more since you’ve had coffee with old What’s-his-name.
Don’t let that happen. Be intentional about keeping those relationships healthy and vital.
Challenge Tracker
Download the Challenge Tracker. There are two items for your consideration. The first one as mentioned, is a re-offering of “The Curious List”. We want you to not only think about the things you want to try or in some cases try again, we also want you to think about which Time Bucket would be best for you to try to accomplish it.
Secondly, we are including a “Friends List” where we want you to name the friends you want to remain close to and those with whom you want to become reacquainted. Remember they are acting within their own Time Buckets as well so be the one who initiates the contact. If it comes to nothing be assured you are heading in the right direction.
You will be creating memories with those you were intended to have experiences with all along.
This episode was supposed to focus on our Physical Health and how it’s really our only real wealth, but I think you get the idea. To finish up the story about Julie and me, it went like this. After our 5oth high school reunion we agreed to get together and we did. She introduced me to her newest husband, number 3 or 4 I’m not sure, and you guessed it, he was much older than us. I had to hand it to her with each one she climbed the corporate ladder so to speak, one was the recently widowed owner of a small but lucrative air transport company, and this latest one also recently widowed, was the retired vice-president of a fortune 500 company. We agreed to get together again soon, but then the pandemic struck. We did text back and forth a few times and I was assured we would all get together after her return from wintering at her husband’s villa in Cancun.
The News Left Me Gasping for Breath
As months and even a year or so went by my many attempts to reach her went mostly unanswered. When we did talk, our get together was pushed down the line. In desperation I texted her little sister to ask if there was something I had accidentally done to damage this life long friendship. That’s when I was told that Julie no longer ventured outside her comfort zone, she is satisfied to be surrounded by close family and that’s about it. She then added, it was doubtful we would now ever have that meeting to catch up on things. The news left me gasping for breath. Here I was, someone who used to walk into her house without even knocking, someone who was the subject of her award winning “A” grade essay and someone with whom she had shared the celebrated day of graduation. Yet now was someone who was no longer a member of her club. As I closed that text it left me with a haunting and a heightened feeling of regret. She was still within my time bucket but I was no longer within hers.
New Inspiring Determination
Amazingly, this moment left me inspired with many wonderful and yes, hilarious memories most of which are not suitable for publication. I can honestly say I now have a renewed determination to not let any important experience of relationship escape as I go through my last couple of Time Buckets.
One of the reasons we have this community is because we want this for you too. So go complete your Curious List, put the important names on your Friends list and remember to share this episode with a friend. We are all going to be better for it and no doubt it will add to Your Best Retirement,
What Do The Scriptures Say?
Oh, I almost forgot, What do the scriptures say? You already know it, Like most of you I first heard it in a song by the 60’s Rock Group, The Byrds, It’s called Turn, Turn, Turn. How did I know it came straight out of the Bible? It’s found in Ecclesiastes chapter 3. I’m not going to read all of it, but here are a few verses.
For everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time that yields, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together. For everything (Turn Turn Turn) there is a season (Turn Turn Turn) and a time for every purpose under heaven.
I’m Coach Ledford, I hope you’ve been as encouraged by this time together as I have, don’t forget to hit the “Share Button” and send this to someone else, thanks a lot for watching, see you next time on your best retirement.
You May Know Your Bucket List, But What About Your Time Bucket?