Who am I without my business card?

Welcome to another edition of Your Best Retirement, I’m your host, Coach Ledford.

An old story

The story is almost proverbial, and perhaps you’ve personally heard of someone who fits this story, someone who worked hard for forty plus years only to croak shortly after they retired. It goes like this: At age 62 Mr. Jones successfully made the change from the world of work to the world of retirement. He died six months later

Mr. Jones made the CHANGE, but failed to make the TRANSITION.

There is now a recognized term for this condition, it’s called “Sudden Retirement Syndrome.” In fact there are now some statistics that back the story up through investigations conducted by the National Bureau of Economic Research.

Basically, this was validated in a study completed about 10 years ago on the “Mortality Effects of Retirement”. It was discovered after compiling 34 years of data that trends in death followed predictable and historical norms EXCEPT for the age of 62.

Men who retired at that age experienced a much higher death rate than in any other year of average life expectancy. After accounting for other factors such as traffic accidents, cancer and pulmonary deaths, the only other factor these deceased folks had in common was this: They all retired within a few days of each other.

They all retired within a few days of each other AND they all died within a few days of each other.

Change vs. Transition

It appears that lots of folks go through the physical change from working and raising kids to settling into an empty nest, and living what is known as retirement life. What is also clear, as illustrated by my Mr. Jones story, is that an increasing number of retirees who, although they have undergone the change over to retired life, have failed to successfully transition to retired life.

Change is an external thing, it usually contains specific dates and events. It’s physical, like your kids getting married, retiring from your job, maybe even downsizing your house. Transition, on the other hand, is an internal process. It involves adjusting your roles, narrowing or broadening certain relationships, and taking on, not different, but perhaps a more complete identity. One you didn’t have time to cultivate before now.

One more major difference is that change is usually signaled by events that occur along a predictable path and at predictable milestones in our life. Most of us tend to just ride along without giving it much conscious thought, other than picking out the venue for the event itself.

Transition, on the other hand, especially for you to live Your Best Retirement life, is a series of intentionally conscious choices. These choices ultimately determine not only how successful each of these predictable changes become, but more importantly, how meaningful and satisfying they are for those of us who have worked so hard and sacrificed so much to achieve them.

Shift your paradigm

What I’m suggesting is a paradigm shift. That is to say, while we are conscious of the changes happening all around us, let’s zero in our focus on the transition starting with retirement itself!

You may recall a story I told a few weeks ago of a person at a cocktail party or a church get-together who was asked, “What do you do for a living?” They answered, “I’m retired”. That answer ENDS the conversation. Suddenly there is nothing to talk about and no one to talk to, so they hit the punch bowl. And hope it’s spiked.

The shift I am recommending is to start right now to think of retirement as the glass not half empty, but half full.

Instead of thinking you are retired FROM something, think instead that you are retiring TO something. Can’t you just feel the ramp up of energy and excitement building up in your body? Once you explain to people this exciting adventure you are on, you will be the talk of the party with the guests hanging on your every word. They will be lining up to go with you.

Instead of thinking you are retiring FROM something, start thinking you are retiring TO something.

The act of transition

The acts of transition can be stated another way, “Who am I without my business card?”

What I’ve just described through these stories, albeit at a very general level, is what the late William Bridges, the leading expert on Life Transition, called the 5 Acts Of Transition. In our Best Retirement workshop this fall we will take a closer look at these but they start out with

• Act One, the thought of retiring

• Acts Two, planning for retirement

• Act Three, executing of our actual retirement

• Act Four, gain the necessary tools to navigate retirement. There will be both expected and unexpected twists and turns; these will enrich our lives and also enlarge our identity along the way.

• Act Five, retool and refuel to live Your Best Retirement.

Bringing this all together is what will become known as Your Best Retirement — Action Plan.

I am shamelessly tempting you with this. It can only be obtained by attending our tow-hour YBR Workshop, which will be scheduled this fall.

Let’s review

Last week’s challenge question was: List 5-10 things you will lose (or have lost), and 5-10 things you will gain (or have gained), from your transition to retirement.

Challenge question

Here is this week’s question: Write down one obstacle or challenge you are facing that’s preventing you from living “Your Best Retirement.” List 3-6 ways you can overcome it.

Download the Challenge Tracker to record your thoughts. Click the link below:

Don’t overthink this exercise. There are ways you can get past the obstacle: Through it, over it, under it or around it. Then let your internal (transitional) processes start to “marinate” on it for a few days. You’ll be surprised at the plans your mind comes up with to overcome this obstacle or challenge.

As we have noted, Your Best Retirement is less about sharing information than accomplishing results.

Get this week’s installment of the Challenge Tracker, a place to record your own answers in response to this week’s challenge.

Getting the Challenge Tracker is simple: Click the link below, enter your email, and the Challenge Tracker (a simple one-page pdf) will show up on your screen. Save the file, or print a hardcopy; it’s a place to track your answers and your progress. (It is best to do this from your desktop or laptop, as you can more easily save the file.) You’ll get a new Challenge Tracker each week. Click the link:

What does the Scripture say?

Our Bible verse this week offers this encouragement, it’s found in Isaiah chapter 46 where the Lord says, “Even when you have gray hair, remember I am He who made you, I will rescue you, I will carry you and I will sustain you.”

Conclusion

Our quote this week from James Clear sums it up best where he says:

“If you want to avoid making mistakes do less, but if you want to avoid being irrelevant Do More!”

You may have noticed I use inclusive terms like we, us, and our in speaking of Your Best Retirement. That’s because Alligator Curt and I are right there in the fight with you. The only difference is this is our main mission. Our goal is to save you time, needless anxiety and confusion.

As we said in an earlier edition, when you were in the midst of your career or raising your family, you had 15, maybe 20 years, to allow the winds of circumstance to start blowing in your favor, If you are anywhere close to age 65, you don’t have 15 years for favorable circumstances to develop.

So, click on the button below to get a copy of the Challenge Tracker this week and find someone who you can share this episode with. Just click the share button.

I’m Coach Ledford and I can tell you are looking forward to next week where you will get more tips, tricks and techniques for living “Your Best Retirement” !